Much like the subway, the NYC bus provides a spectacle at every stop. Yesterday, an extraterrestrial got on the Q60. Or, if she wasn't an extraterrestrial, she at least claimed to be one.
The bus stopped, the doors opened and a voice outside bellowed: "I NEED A SEAT IN THE FRONT. CAN SOMEONE PLEASE GET OUT OF THE FRONT!" Soon, the legs of someone who must have weighed 600 pounds appeared. Elderly women abandoned their front seats. The 600-pound woman lumbered onto the bus and collapsed into a seat. "SEE. EVERYONE HATES ME!"
"No one hates you," the bus driver said soothingly. But the woman didn't hear him. And soon it was obvious that we, the other passengers, were going to be the audience for an improvised monologue.
"TAKE ME HOME!" yelled the woman. I thought to myself, that's the reason you get on a bus. But it was soon apparent that this woman was not asking to be let off at any ordinary destination. "GET ME OUTTA HERE! I DON'T WANT TO LIVE ON PLANET EARTH ANYMORE! I DON'T FIT IN! YOU GOTTA HAVE MONEY TO LIVE ON PLANET EARTH! YOU GOTTA HAVE MONEY TO LIVE ON PLANET EARTH!"
As I got off the bus, scratching my head, I wondered which planet was the woman's destination. And did she expect the bus to take her there?
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment