Yet Another Subway Performance

A man on the subway, who had obviously drunk one too many eggnogs, decided to burst into song. His unfortunate song choice was the maudlin ballad "All By Myself." The man's pitch ever more unsteady, and his performance grew ever more melodramatic, culminating in the loud chorus: "All By Myseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeelf! Don't wanna be! All By MYSEEEEEEEELLLLLFFFF!" A nearby passenger couldn't bear it anymore and exploded, "You WILL be, if you keep singing like THAT!"

A Guy Who Loves America

During the recent presidential election, much was made of the divide between "red" and "blue" states, or more specifically, the churchgoing habits of their residents. New York may be a blue state, but I feel that this denomination is misleading. New Yorkers don't need to go to church; we get regular sermons on the subway as we commute to work. 9 out of 10 mornings, a preacher will board your subway car and noisily spread the gospel.

This morning, I heard him before I saw him: a rotund preacher whose resonant speech was delivered in Spanish. The sermon, which reverberated loudly through the subway car, was delivered in quite an eloquent fashion, with a few minor exceptions. In between impassioned segments about salvation, the preacher tried to reach out to the English-speaking population of the train, with slightly less eloquent results. "Jesus, he's a guy who love America! Alleluia!"