Paper Bag Rider

This evening on the F train, a baby screamed and cried in its stroller as though its life depended upon it. The baby's parents stood above it, completely oblivious, with faces of stone.

After about 10 minutes of the piercing wails, several passengers looked as though they would strangle the parents. Fortunately, just as we thought the crying could not get any louder, a drunk entered the subway car. Perhaps for sentimental reasons, he had saved the paper bag he'd been hiding his drink in. He stood above the baby and leered, waving the bag wildly in the air. He then proceeded to sloppily perform the most amazing variety of paper bag tricks for the immediately attentive toddler. He threw the bag in the air. He put it on his head. The parents, momentarily roused from their indifference, looked on approvingly. The child miraculously ceased to cry.

At the next stop, the drunk wobbled off, and the baby began to wail again.